It's been a good week in Rockford!
I saved the best for first... Jenny and Jordan are engaged!
I'm so happy for them. They're hoping that by the time they get married, Layna will be big enough to be the flower girl. She was talking with Carrie the other day about the wedding, asking her to be the maid of honor. It was so funny to me. As I sat and watched them talk, all that I could see was Jenny, 4, and Carrie, 3, waking me up early on a Saturday morning. Carrie was LIVID (which is odd, because Carrie is very kind and rarely gets angry-- even back then). She said "Jenny thinks that I'm her slay (three-year-old-Carrie-speak-for-"slave") She thinks that just because she's older I have to do what she says and she's not the boss of me...." I'm sure that it can't have been that long ago.
Second wonderful news of the week...
While I was sitting in my boss's office, making a chain out of her paper clips and taping her pens under her desk, I had an epiphany. I realized why fish eat other fish. They have to live in water, so they get confused sometimes and think that they are soup. I have a theory that if you put enough people in a swimming pool for enough hours, they would also become confused and turn cannibal. I am in the process of requesting a three million dollar government grant to test my theory. Wish me luck!
Other than that, it's been a lot of the same here. Working.. running around... blah blah. I saw "W" the other night. Good movie. See it if you get a chance. I realized right away why they released it so close to Halloween... Cheney scared the hell out of me.
Oh.. this is cute. I don't know where it came from originally, but I pilfered it from my boss's email.
WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD???
BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!
JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road to consort with known terrorists. It is really an Arab chicken, and I am suspending my campaign to deal with it. No I'm not. Yes I am.
SARAH PALIN: Chicken? Road?
HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One! That every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.
JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay, too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like the other side. That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken 2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never crash or need to be rebooted.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
You Are Wednesday
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Like this day of the week, you are ruled by Mercury.
More than anything, you are unpredictable.
You are witty and wise - but you are also easily bored.
You tend to be flighty and careless. You are unreliable at times.
In some ways, it's perfect that you match up with hump day.
You are always coasting downhill - even when it seems like an uphill battle.
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